Jul 08

The Weekly GYST: Decluttering

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By Jennie GYST View Comments

Most home improvement projects start with decluttering – clearing out the “stuff” that’s in the way of making a space more comfy/organized/beautiful/fabulous. Personal upgrade projects follow the same format. It’s easier to be moxie-licious if you’ve eliminated the clutter/stuff/crap that you are tolerating and not really dealing with.

The following are examples of common life clutter that require your immediate attention:

Physical Clutter: Actual crap in your world that you don’t need – check your home, office, car, pocketbook, etc.
Incomplete Tasks: Unfinished business like unpaid bills or incomplete to-do lists
Unhealthy Habits: Smoking, fast food, inconsistent exercise, etc.
Behaviors: Unattractive behaviors (like lying or nail biting), repeating bad patterns, complaining, etc.
Shoulds: Commitments you wish you could get out of, but feel stuck in
Negative Relationships: Relationships that drain you (refresher available here!)

Tolerating this sh*t zaps you of your time and energy and certainly does not serve your best interests. So clear it out! Here’s how…

Step 1: List all of the clutter you are currently tolerating.
Step 2: Prioritize the list starting with the pieces that are most annoying, damaging, and harmful to your life.
Step 3: Take the necessary actions for eliminating this clutter starting at the top of your list.

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Jul 07

Self-Efficacy 101

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By Jennie General Thoughts View Comments

I recently stumbled upon the concept of “self-efficacy” in a book I was reading and I can’t seem to shake my interest in the subject. The more I learn about it, the more I’m beginning to realize that Audacity IS self-efficacy – they are one and the same.

Ok, so what is “self-efficacy”? The foremost authority on self-efficacy is psychologist Albert Bandura from Stanford University. Here’s his take:

“Perceived self-efficacy is defined as people’s beliefs about their capabilities to produce designated levels of performance that exercise influence over events that affect their lives.”

Translation: Self-efficacy is your BELIEF in your capabilities to make things happen.

Notice that this definition doesn’t say that you have all the tools and know-how to make things happen. It’s simple – you BELIEVE in your ability to figure it out and accomplish whatever you set out to do. Hmm…Fascinating! So…

Self-Efficacy = Moxie!!!

People with high levels of self-efficacy/moxie share the following characteristics:

  • Very assured in their capabilities to get things done
  • Approach challenges as opportunities for mastery
  • Seize opportunities with fearlessness
  • When faced with difficult tasks, they concentrate on how to perform successfully
  • Recover quickly from setbacks
  • Believe that failure happens only if you don’t work hard enough or know enough yet – and that know-how is always attainable
  • Feel that no matter the circumstance, they can gain control of the situation
  • Don’t need to know how they are going to solve a problem before taking it on – they just believe that they will find the how along the way to the solution

People with low levels of self-efficacy/moxie share the following characteristics:

  • Doubt their capabilities
  • Approach challenges as difficult personal threats
  • Avoid change summarily
  • When faced with difficult challenges, they dwell on their personal shortcomings, on potential obstacles, and assume the worst possible outcomes
  • Feel that circumstances dictate the outcome and feel powerless to change the situations
  • Only enjoy solving problems with clear cut solutions that they’ve used before without fail
  • So let’s get super scientific and rate ourselves.

Imagine a scale of 1-10 (where 1 means very, very low levels of self-efficacy and where 10 means you are absolutely brimming with Moxie). Now, where do you fall? Be honest. How can you increase your self-efficacy score?

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Jul 06

Announcement – NEW PROGRAM!

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By Jennie General Thoughts View Comments

The Career Audacity Group Coaching Program

(Two seats were already taken pre-announcement! Are you ready to join them and launch your career forward?)

This program takes all the juice from the highly successful How to Live Audaciously program and focuses it squarely on your CAREER! It’s a 4-week program that brings together 4-8 fabulous people who are tired of playing by the rules and ready to make things happen in their careers! So much more than a typical self-help and goal setting program, this program will freakin’ rock your world!

Investment: Just $99 for the entire program! This includes the four group coaching sessions, four preparation surveys, access to an online forum to connect with your cohorts, and unlimited email access to your coach – that’s me! Additionally, clients who wish to work one-on-one with me after the program will be eligible for 25% off of any personal coaching package for up to 3 months!

Sign up here!

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Jul 01

Who Are Your Peeps?

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By Jennie General Thoughts View Comments

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but alas, your parents were actually right about something: you are who you hang with! The people that you CHOOSE (operative word, here) to be in your world are absolutely a reflection of who you are and how you are perceived. Sometimes the truth sucks, huh?

Who is in your posse? Who do you let into your world? Why on earth is this any of my business?

Many people hang on to relationships that no longer nourish or support them. Many of my clients balk at the suggestion that they should change or eliminate some of their relationships. However, toxic relationships are often the most distracting obstacles that keep you from being your moxie-licious self.

Do any of the following sound familiar?

  • A needy friend who only calls when she needs you to bail her out again
  • A family member who calls you with some sort of nonsense drama all the time
  • A co-worker who constantly complains about the boss or gossips to you
  • A childhood friend you no longer relate to since you became adults
  • A nosey friend who offers opinions and “wisdom” even when it’s not wanted
  • Someone who consistently lets you down or leaves you hanging
  • Someone who takes considerably more in the relationship than you receive
  • Someone who has little interest in YOU and YOUR life!
  • It’s high time you to distance yourself from these kinds of draining people. How?

Take some intentional steps to change how YOU PARTICIPATE in these relationships!

Detach from the unnecessary family drama by changing the subject; tell your colleagues that you are simply too busy to listen to any more gossip or complaints at work; say “no” to all the tired requests for your time, energy, or money; and spend less and less time with people who exhaust you.

When you change your participation in these relationships and make it clear that you will no longer participate in their negativity or neediness, these relationships will naturally evolve or end. Then you can easily choose to shift your peeps around and start hanging more with people who really get you. These are people who will give you all the support in the world without asking for something back. They are whole people, people who can easily take care of their own needs. They are people who inspire you, engage you, surprise you, and crack you up. These are the peeps you want in your corner.

So where will you start? I’d love to hear…

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Jun 29

Weekly GYST: Stop Complaining

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By Jennie GYST View Comments

Complaining…a close cousin to excuse making, but even more pervasive. I find it fascinating how much people whine and bitch and moan about life. Complaining is a time-sucking, brainpower-wasting, headache-inducing, frustration-making, highly unnecessary and unattractive habit. And it’s freakin’ everywhere!

image from zazzle.com

Novice complainers whine about the most tedious things – often just because that’s the only way they know to make conversation. They bitch about the weather, politicians, neighbors, colleagues, bosses, traffic, pets, children, anything and everything. They seem to see the negative in everything and, for some reason, have a deep need to point it out. (Super fun!)

Chronic complainers are never looking for a solution to their problems. In fact, if you offer a viable solution to a chronic complainer, they might bite your head off. They actually feed off of the negativity of always having a problem. It gives them a reason for being or something. (They drive me crazy.)

More sophisticated complainers announce when the hail storm of whininess is coming with an “I just need to vent” proclamation. I hate it when I hear that sentence. It means that this person has prepared a wildly negative oration that I’m going to have to endure for who-knows-how-long with no positive outcome in sight. (Shoot me now.)

So I’ve developed a two step coaching process to help you stop complaining. Get ready. This one’s really groundbreaking!

Step 1: Stop complaining.
Step 2: Look for solutions instead.

Seriously, just stop. I mean really…what has complaining ever done for you? Nobody wants to listen, it doesn’t actually make you feel better, and it doesn’t help any situation. Pay attention to how much you tend to complain. If you find yourself about to complain (or half-way through a venting session) just stop talking. For every problem, there are tons of possible solutions. Focus on finding one. And once you stop complaining, stop tolerating complaining around you.

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Jun 22

The Weekly GYST

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By Jennie GYST View Comments

Clean up your commitments.

One of the big reasons we make excuses is we are stretched too thin. Stop allowing that! Look at your calendar and to-do lists and start a fresh list of all of your current commitments. Now adjust that list to be only commitments you really want in your life.

Strategic Withdrawals

  • Mark each item on your commitments list with one of the 3Ds – Do it, Delegate it, or Delete it.
    • Need to get it done yourself – mark the task with Do it and set an aggressive deadline. (No excuses for not following through!)
    • Not really something that requires your attention but still needs to happen – mark the task with Delegate it, send it over to the appropriate person, and scratch it from your list
    • Not really something that needs to be on your plate at all – mark the task with Delete it and move on
  • Back out of things that you really don’t want to do, but have said “yes” to already. Do so graciously, but without excuse making.
  • Add “No” back into your vocabulary so you never have to back out again.

Intentional Deposits

  • Set aside daily time and space to work on your stuff – and follow through!
  • Schedule some FUN into your routine
  • Take extremely good care of your physical needs (sleep, exercise, nutrition, etc.)
  • Do something delightfully selfish at least once a week – something that’s all about YOU!
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Jun 21

No. More. Excuses.

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By Jennie General Thoughts View Comments

The number one thing you can do starting right now that will launch your life into the stratosphere is stop making excuses! I know, I know. Sounds simple, unoriginal, and perhaps overly generic. I don’t care. I promise it bears repeating!

You learned how to make excuses when your dog started eating your homework and for many of you, you’ve never stopped. I’m willing to bet that most of you have already made an excuse already today. Most of the peeps I work with show up with boatloads of perfectly honed and rehearsed excuses and they are eager to whip ‘em out as soon as I start pushing them to the uncomfortable. I don’t accept excuses…ever!

Excuse making comes in many disguises:

  • Blaming others or finger pointing
  • Justifying poor choices
  • Explaining why you failed to do something
  • Justifying procrastination
  • Complaining about how hard your life is
  • Apologizing insincerely

Your excuses are tired. And very unsexy. You are so much more than that. Start showing it.

When you make excuses, it means you are simply not taking responsibility for your actions. Hear me again, you are not taking responsibility for your actions. Everything you do is a choice. Own up to your choices. Didn’t workout today because the day got away from you? Get serious! You didn’t choose to workout today. You decided it wasn’t important enough to you or that something else was more important (perhaps the television).

Don’t want to do something? Okay, then say “I don’t want to do that.” The most conscientious people make excuses because they really don’t want to do something, but they don’t want to upset anyone. Don’t say, “well, I can’t make it to your event because excuse, excuse, excuse…” Say, “no, thank you.” Drop the because: I did this. I didn’t do that. Okay. Not I did this because… Stop justifying everything!

When you stop excusing your behaviors and choices, you will be astonished by what comes up. Suddenly, you see your priorities in a whole new light. The people around you will start to take notice of how direct you are and often find a new level of respect for your candidness. Also, the things you’ve said you’ve been wanting but not taking action toward suddenly start feeling more possible. You no longer excuse yourself for not gunning for what you really want. So let’s see what you got!

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Jun 17

Wake Up Call – Week 1

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By Jennie Wake Up Call View Comments

So as I mentioned last week, I have stopped listening to the diet and fitness gurus of the world and the advice of my friends and family – in favor of listening to my own voice. I know the basics of portion control, balanced nutrition, cardio exercise, pilates, etc. Now I’ve decided to trust that I have all the information I need to whip my body back into shape. All I need to do is test and find what works for ME! That’s Audacity!

The reason I’m sharing all this information on my business blog is three fold:

  1. To hold myself accountable to doing something about my “freshman 15” I’ve found since moving to NYC.
  2. To share my successes and setbacks with different strategies with others in case it might help.
  3. To perhaps inspire you to set a behavioral goal (weight loss or otherwise) and apply only your own personal wisdom for what works best for YOU AND YOU ALONE. I’d love to hear about what you come up with.

So, here’s what I have implemented in my life so far:

I write down everything I eat before I place it in my mouth
Okay, I know that this is conventional wisdom, but it works for me. Writing down each morsel before I eat it empowers me because I have consciously chosen to eat that item – and I then savor each bite! By being accountable to my food choices, I choose to eat less crap. I use a free iPhone app called LoseIt to do this – super simple, tracks all the calories, fat, protein, and carbs I eat for me. I love charts that tell me the balance of nutrients I’m ingesting. And the app makes it so fast to do that I know I can do it forever if I choose to – I will always have 6 seconds to spare before eating each meal.

Only eat food that either came from the ground or had a real momma
I grew up on seriously processed hotdogs, mac&chz from a blue box, and pasta with nasty meat inside straight out of a can. Didn’t we all? This crap makes me feel awful and I no longer tolerate it. Instead, I eat real food. I don’t want to eat anything that was “invented” in a petri dish somewhere. This means no fast food, no processed nastiness, no soda, no more yuck. It means lots of gorgeous fruits and veggies, local and organic proteins, and shopping in the bulk foods section. I’m getting crunchier and I love it!

Drink a boatload of water
Again, obvious but crucial. It means I have to pee constantly, but it’s so worth it.

Learn how to cook – for real this time
Now eating real food requires some knowledge of what to do with a whole pomegranate or fresh spinach. I’ve warmed food (read: nuke or boil) my whole life, but that does not equal cooking. I’m learning how to broil, saute, bake, grill, roast, and toss my food. I’m working on my knife skills, too, which is crazy fun. It helps that I have an in-home gourmet to show me the ropes – thanks, honey!

I weigh myself on the Wii Fit everyday…yes, everyday
I posted on my personal Facebook wall back in January that I wanted to start weighing myself consistently every morning – and I got a HUGE response from people who had all sorts of opinions on this practice. I like weighing in each morning in the Wii Fit as a way to start my day with a number and a cute little stamp of approval. It encourages me to be mindful of my eating choices and motivates me to do something active each day. If this bothers you because of your very strong opinions on weighing once a week or never or whatever, oh well. This makes me happy.

Complete the Couch-to-5K program
I still hold the dream that I will run the 2011 NYC Marathon and I’m in the process of completing the shorter races (5Ks, 4-milers, 10Ks, etc) to make that happen. However, I’m not yet able to run the entire time and I want to work up to that. For me, this isn’t about how fast I can go, but rather building up my endurance so that I can do it. Again, I’m using an iPhone app that tells me when to run and when to walk/recover while listening to my Audacity Boost playlist. It’s fabulous.

So here’s my progress…First week of Couch-to-5K program complete. Need new running shoes. 6.2 pounds gone for good. Have to go pee.

Until next week…

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Jun 15

The Weekly GYST: Mean It!

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By Jennie GYST, General Thoughts View Comments

A quick and dirty Get-Your-Sh*t-Together (GYST) tip from me to you

Mean what you say and say what you mean. Let’s be honest: nobody is honest 100% of the time. It’s easy to fib here and there assuming it won’t hurt anyone. In fact, we even lie a little to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. Admit it, you’ve said “I can’t” when you really meant “I don’t want to” or “no, thanks” a million times. Here’s the thing: meaning what you say and saying what you mean requires that you are 100% authentically you…and the world deserves nothing less! This what is “keeping it real” really means.

Mean what you say => keeping your word; honoring your commitments; only telling the truth
Say what you mean => boldly asserting yourself; owning your ideas and perspectives; making sure you are heard and understood; choosing yes or no correctly

Check in with yourself. Do you mean what you say and say what you mean consistently? If not, how will you make some changes?

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Jun 14

Get Over Yourself!

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By Jennie General Thoughts View Comments

…I so mean that in a good way!!!

Fear: an emotional response to a perceived threat. Okay. We’re all glad to have fear for things that could cause bodily harm. It helps us make quick decisions to avoid physical injury. I’m all for that. But how does fear hold you back from doing more, having more, being more?

The most outrageous dreams make you feel alive, challenged, and at the same time, petrified. When starting out in life, we are filled with so much hope and so many unlimited aspirations with little thought to the fears we will experience along the way. However, for so many of us, as life starts challenging us, we begin to set limits on our imaginations and dreams. Why? Because we are scared sh*tless!

Name your fear! Fear of failure; fear of success; fear of the unknown; fear of what others might think; fear of the reality of your situation; fear of rejection; fear of commitment; fear of change; fear of losing your job; fear of uncertainty about your future; fear of making decisions; fear of conflict; fear that you don’t know enough; and on and on. I’ve heard them all (and felt most of them myself)!

Having Moxie requires that you break the habit of setting such self-imposed limits and shove your way past these fears. It requires that you get over yourself!

So let’s confront those fears straight on. Here’s a simple exercise to help you think through (instead of always feeling through) those fears and make informed decisions. Get out a pen and paper and answer the following:

  • What are you really afraid of?
  • List all the possible horrible outcomes that you imagine.
  • List all the potentially great outcomes, you know, if everything goes your way.
  • Where in this scenario do you have complete control?
  • Where in this scenario do you have influence?
  • Where in this scenario do you have no control?
  • What are you going to do about it?

Here’s an example from a coaching client who dreams of being an entrepreneur.

  • Fear: I’m afraid of failing at entrepreneurship because no one will want to hire me.
  • Horrible outcomes: I will be broke; not enough people will want what I offer; undesirable to other companies; embarrass my friends and family; set my career backwards instead of forwards; have no dreams left; etc.
  • Potentially great outcomes: I will be self-made; tons of people will want what I offer; make my friends and family proud; launch my career into the stratosphere; feel the satisfaction of living my dream; etc.
  • Complete control: If and when I give up on this dream; how hard I work; etc.
  • Influence: Marketing my work appropriately; network with the right people; become an expert in my line of work; etc.
  • No control: Whether or not any particular person decides to hire me; etc.
  • My choice: _______________

You and you alone are responsible for creating a fabulous life, one that’s filled with everything you want and very little of what you don’t want. Fear is real, but that doesn’t mean that it should make your decisions for you. Look at your fears, analyze them, and then decide for yourself who is going to win – your fears or your Moxie!

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